Dharius Daniels - It's Not My Fault

2 Kings Chapter 7. I’m going to be reading from the Message translation of the Bible. If you’re trying to figure out how to get into reading the Bible, the Message translation is a good version to start with; it puts it in modern language. This is what it says: In 2 Kings Chapter 7, verse 3, it happened that four lepers were sitting outside the city gate. They said to one another, «What are we doing sitting here at death’s door? If we enter the famine-struck city, we will die. If we stay here, we will die. So let’s take our chances in the camp of Aram and throw ourselves on their mercy. If they receive us, we’ll live; if they kill us, we’ll die. But we’ve got nothing to lose.»

I want to talk from this subject in our time together today: «It’s Not My Fault.»

Family, I recently began reading a book that provided me with an incredible revelation on the purpose and power of responsibility. Someone shout, «Responsibility!» Responsibility can really be broken down and seen as a synthesis of two words that describe, listen to this: our response ability that God has granted to every one of us—the ability to respond. It matters not the circumstances, situations, or seasons we find ourselves in; we have embedded in our genetic code the ability to choose how we will respond.

As I was reading this material, I came away with three critical takeaways that I succinctly summarized into three phrases. You don’t even have to get the book; I’m going to tell you my takeaways in three sentences. Somebody say Amen for that! Here it is:

Number one: I learned this: We cannot improve what we will not own. In order to improve it, I must own it.

Secondly, I learned: We cannot adjust what we keep ignoring. Ignoring a problem is not a healthy or helpful strategy for solving it.

And number three: I learned: We can’t catch blessings if we keep casting blame. We can’t catch blessings if we keep casting blame. In other words, evolution requires ownership; becoming the best version of ourselves requires ownership. Therefore, I am contending and claiming that in order for us to experience evolution, in order for us to level up, one of the lessons we need to learn from Level Up University is the skill of discerning the difference between a reason and an excuse. Just because the reason is real doesn’t mean the excuse is right. Just because the reason is real doesn’t mean the excuse is right. The reason says something about the situation; the excuse says something about me. Just because the reason gives me a reason to be here doesn’t mean I have to allow the excuse to become a reason to stay here.

I thought somebody would say Amen to that!

It’s interesting because when one chronically and consistently allows reasons to become excuses, then Henry Cloud says that the individual is suffering from learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is learned. He describes it as a mental paradigm where a person sees themselves as powerless—a way of thinking that causes a person to see themselves as powerless. Therefore, their welfare and well-being are at the mercy of what happens to them. Their circumstances become sovereign instead of their savior being sovereign. So how well it goes for them depends on how well it goes for them. Therefore, their responsibility for their life is based on the circumstances and the problems, not the reality of the person.

Some would suggest that learned helplessness is a consequence of experiences. I would argue that this is correct psychologically but incomplete theologically. I would argue that yes, circumstances may contribute to it, but there’s something that makes us vulnerable to it—prone to it, and that is a nature we inherited from Adam and Eve. You see, when we examine the creation story, we will see that Adam and Eve had an experience that helps us understand our orientations a little differently.

The Bible says that they were placed in this space of unbroken communion and fellowship with God called Eden, and as they were placed in this particular space, the Bible says God gives them some instruction—it’s the manufacturer’s instruction. He tells them, «Of everything in this garden, you can eat except for that tree.» He is teaching them to live well; you’ve got to live with restriction. When you’re really free, you’re able to look at what you want and decide what to say yes or no to. Real freedom is not revealed in your ability to keep saying yes; real freedom is revealed in your ability to say no. He is teaching them that if you’re going to live well, you’ve got to live with boundaries, you’ve got to live with limitations, you’ve got to live with some restrictions. It is not God, watch this, restricting them; it is God protecting them. It is Him giving them manufacturer’s instruction. It is the equivalent of the creator of a phone telling you, «Don’t put the phone in the microwave.» Why? Because we created the phone, and we know the conditions in which the phone needs to be to thrive. He says, «Listen, don’t touch that.»

Now, if you’re familiar with this story, you know they eat from that tree, and something happens. The Bible says in Genesis Chapter 3, God, who is a God of accountability, presents a powerful leadership principle here, right? If we’re leading anything or managing anything, it teaches us something: that instruction without accountability is a fantasy. God created Adam and Eve, and He comes to them and holds them accountable—not because He’s attempting to be punitive.