Dharius Daniels - The Wrestling Man

Genesis 32, verse 22 says that night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip, so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, «Let me go, for it is daybreak.» But Jacob replied, «I will not let you go until you bless me.» The man asked, «What is your name?» «Jacob,» he answered. Then the man said, «Your name will no longer be Jacob but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.»

Last week, in part one of this manology series, we talked about the mute man. Today, I want to tag a title to this text and talk about the wrestling man. Family, I feel safe in assuming that a large percentage of the people in this place, specifically yet not exclusively men, grew up as I did: avid, ardent, and enthusiastic wrestling fans. Let me qualify what I mean when I say wrestling, because I am referring to a specific period in the history of wrestling when it was not as popular, not a stream or variation of some sort of reality show, but represented by amazing icons like—I’m about to lose all my Millennials—Junkyard Dog, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Woo! Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker, The Road Warriors, and Ted DiBiase. During that time in history, there were no DVRs and no on-demand programming, so you had to strategically position yourself in front of the television on Saturdays to catch the show. If you missed it, you missed it.

I find it interesting and intriguing, family, why there seems to be such an affinity—not exclusively but specifically among young boys and men—for wrestling. You didn’t see that kind of enthusiasm for cycling, bowling, or golfing, yet there was this interesting affinity toward wrestling. It intrigued us, inspired us, and for some, it deceived us. We thought we were like those we admired: skinny people like me believed we were muscular, weak men thought they were strong, and short me thought he was tall. We jumped off beds and onto coffee tables, experimenting with wrestling moves on our younger siblings. It’s fascinating that we had this affinity toward wrestling, and I’d like to suggest that, unconsciously, we saw some of ourselves in those wrestlers.

Every man grows up to be a wrestler. We don’t wrestle in rings, but we wrestle with our wounds and weaknesses. We don’t wrestle externally for everyone to see; we wrestle internally with the inner me. We don’t wrestle for championship belts, but we do wrestle to work out our calling. All men wrestle. You wrestle when you’re young, you wrestle if you’re unemployed, you wrestle if you are employed. You wrestle if you are Black, you wrestle if you are White, you wrestle if you are Brown. You wrestle if you graduated summa cum laude, magna cum laude, or thank you, Lordy. You wrestle if you work on Wall Street, and you wrestle if you live on the street. All men wrestle, and when you change men, you’re just changing wrestlers.

I think it’s important to understand this about a man, because if not, you will be confused by the plethora of personalities you have to deal with when managing a man. I want to say something that’s extremely important, yet often underemphasized: men are moody too. Now sisters, I should have received a better «amen» than that! I said, men are moody! The moodiness of a man is underemphasized and underrated. It can seem as if you have a sweet, charming, and endearing gentleman one moment, and then a recluse, pompous, insensitive individual the next. You wonder, «How can you be my boo, my baby, and then all of a sudden, I want to lay hands on you so that you do not recover?» How can a gentleman and a jerk coexist in the same person? Could it be because there’s a Jacob and an Israel in him, wrestling with one another? The one who is winning that day is the one you encounter.

It is important for a woman who is raising a man, who is the sister to a man, who is an aunt to a man, who is a friend to a man, who is a fiancée to a man, or who is a wife to a man, to know that you are connected to and are friends with someone who is wrestling. You have to come to a pivotal point in the relationship. There’s no right or wrong way to handle this. Obviously, the Scriptures do not instruct you to subject yourself to something and someone that is not in your best interest physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Hopefully, you understand that there’s nuance in this message, and I am not advocating that you put yourself in harm’s way and become a victim to the imperfections of another man or be a prisoner to his dysfunction. I hope you understand that nuance, for I am not asserting that. However, I am saying you do have to get…