Keith Battle - Proverbial - Part 2

Father, please speak to us now. I thank You for this opportunity to serve these my brothers and sisters. I pray that what we communicate today, what You share through me, would be helpful, life-giving, informative, inspiring, and most importantly, transformative. I pray that You would show me not only what to say but how to say it, so that when we leave, we’ll be better, and when we live beyond this message, we will be better. In Jesus' name, Amen.

So, I’m continuing a series I started a few weeks ago called «Proverbial.» Proverbial, by definition, is just a scan of the book of Proverbs where we look at different topics that impact and influence our lives. Today, I want to go to Proverbs chapter 18, and there are three verses I want to examine: verses 2, 13, and 22. If you have your own Bible, app, or something—only a few people bring Bibles to church anymore—turn to Proverbs 18. Let me read a couple of verses from that, beginning at verse 2 and then moving to verses 13 and 22.

Verse 2: «Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.» Verse 13: «Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.» The Bible states that talking without listening, or trying to be understood without understanding, is foolish. This is not just true in conversations; when you’re talking to someone and they’re not even trying to listen to you, but just waiting for you to stop so they can say everything, that pattern of conversation will impact relationships. Many relationships are suffering because people aren’t really taking the time to understand each other. So, that’s what I want to focus on today: those two verses and another one in verse 22.

Relationships, today, everyone has relationships—somehow, it always gets around to that. I want to talk about relationships, and I’m going to share some lessons I’ve shared in this church many times regarding relationships. I want to share these things over and over again until we master them. They shouldn’t just be words we hear but words we live—like tools we instinctively use in any situation. The reason why this is so important is that many people struggle with relationships. At the end of the day, you can be making more money than you’ve ever made, yet your relationships may still struggle.

You can have grandchildren, new children, new businesses being birthed, and new ministries emerging in your life, yet still struggle with relationships. You can be promoted at your job, seeing results in your fitness, improving your finances, getting out of debt, and experiencing all kinds of good things in life. God can move someone out of your company, and you’re like, «Look at God,» yet your relationships are still suffering. I think part of that is because when we think of relationships, we don’t automatically associate them with work; we think they should be easy.

We work hard at our jobs, at the gym, in school, or even at a second job, so why should it be hard to come home and work on our relationships? Some of us have the mentality, even without saying it, that if I have to work hard in this relationship, I’m with the wrong person. But I’m saying to you, the quality of your relationship is proportionate to how much work you put into it—and not just any work; it’s the right work. You need the right tools, the right knowledge, the right skills, and you must put in effort.

Don’t you know it’s possible to know the right thing to do, have the right information, and still not change your situation? If I have the right information without application, it will not change the situation. That was good right there! Let me say it again: if I have the right information without the right application, it will not change my situation. Oh, let me clean that up one more time: I will not take responsibility for failed relationships in this church because you all always receive good information. The problem comes in the application. In my own marriage, if there’s a problem, it’s not that I don’t know what to do; it’s the failure to apply.

So, at the end of the day, it is up to me and to you to apply what we learn. Most of us simply conform to what is considered normal, and for many of us, that normality does not reflect healthy relationships. They are often selfish relationships. We do relationships in a way that makes us happy, and if someone doesn’t make us happy, we leave. «Oh, I have a handsome buddy on the side who makes me happy, so I’ll just stay with you for convenience.»

Now that I’ve covered that, let’s talk about this tool that I believe is very helpful. It’s one I learned from my pastor, John Jenkins, called S-B-I: Situation, Behavior, Impact. I love this tool because it’s one you can use when someone has disappointed you, hurt you, or offended you.