Keith Battle - Bearing Gifts

I want to use as a subject this weekend the term «bearing gifts.» The phrase «I come bearing gifts» is not always regarded with honor and dignity. In fact, it originates from Greek history and is often used to warn people of danger: «Beware of those who come bearing gifts,» is frequently said among Greeks because they were misled in conflicts, thinking someone was coming one way, while they were actually coming another way. They appeared safe, but were truly dangerous. Something similar happened with Herod; in this passage, he says, «Tell me where this child is, so I can go worship him.» However, if you read the Bible, you know that was not his real intention. Thus, when considering the phrase «bearing gifts,» it is often used as a caution to be wary—don’t let the gifts deceive you.

However, for the sake of this holiday season, and with no disrespect to Greek history, I want to use the term «bearing gifts» in a very honorable sense. At the end of the day, we are all bearing gifts. Every person listening to me right now, every person watching this, every single one of us is bearing gifts. What greater time of year to discuss gifts than Christmas?

If I may digress for a moment, Christmas is an interesting time filled with lights, parties, eggnog, retail therapy, and all the glitz, colors, and decorations. It is, I would call, a pleasant distraction. Most of it has very little to do with the true meaning of Christmas—indeed, much of it has nothing to do with that meaning. When we talk about bearing gifts during this holiday season, it is more than just a pleasant diversion; it is also a time of the year that can contribute to great depression. People often feel very sad about what they have lost, who is no longer with them, or those they can no longer access. Losses can take many forms: a loss of a relationship, a marriage, a family member, a loved one, or even a missed opportunity. It might even include a loss of money. This season becomes a time when people spend much of their time reflecting on what they have lost, which can lead to feelings of great depression and discouragement.

On one hand, it is a time of great distraction, but on the other hand, it can be a time of significant sadness. Before I discuss the third point regarding how we should focus at this time of year, I want to address those who may be feeling discouraged and depressed during this season due to loss. When you concentrate on what you have lost, you often develop a guilt complex, leading you to ponder what you could have done to maintain what was lost, how you could have acted differently, or how you could have salvaged what was lost. Consequently, you deny yourself permission to be happy, to have fun, or simply to enjoy this time. By nurturing and cultivating these thoughts of loss, you inadvertently build walls around yourself, imprisoning yourself in your own thoughts. When you are confined in this way, it becomes challenging to escape, and no one can truly reach you.

Some individuals have spent holiday after holiday in a prison of depressing thoughts, and I want to bring some light to this situation for you. There is a way to escape this cyclical cycle of depression that recurs every year and every season. Some of you may feel uncertain about how to break free. Often, you might think, «I will either suffer and cry through it,» or «I will medicate myself in some way to numb my feelings.» However, at the end of that path, you may feel worse. Now, on top of grieving your loss, you also contend with guilt for how you tried to medicate it.

There is a better way. Before I discuss this third perspective on Christmas, please consider four things regarding your losses. The first thing to reflect on is how long God allowed you to have what you lost. Don’t merely focus on what you’ve lost; also think about how long you had it. Understand that you could have lived a life without ever having that person or opportunity in your life. It was a blessing to have had them. Be grateful for having had that person in your life for the time you did, or for the opportunity, the business, or the job during the time you had them. You had it for a while, so instead of dwelling on what you lost, thank God for the time you had it.