David Diga Hernandez - How You Can Process Grief and Loss

Life is a vapor; at any moment of any day, anyone can pass into eternity. When we lose someone we love in this way, we can become overwhelmed with disbelief and grief. We search for answers even when we don’t know exactly what questions we should be asking. Why did God allow this? How can we go on? After the initial shock, there’s a flurry of thoughts that rush through your mind, or perhaps there’s just one thought about which you cannot stop obsessing. Maybe you feel angry, maybe you feel guilty, maybe hopeless, depressed, afraid, or confused. When you lose a loved one, you know that no one can possibly know the pain you feel—because how can they? The person you lost was unique; the relationship you had with them was unique. Everyone’s connections are different, and so are the ways we grieve those connections. You have a unique collection of experiences, conversations, and feelings that nobody else will ever have and can therefore never understand. Your loss of a parent is different from someone else’s loss of a parent. Your loss of a child is different from someone else’s loss of a child. The same is true for all loss: a sibling, a friend, a family member, or a mentor. We experience a unique kind of pain with every unique kind of connection. Is there a loved one you fondly remember? Tell us about them in the comment section. Jesus never promised that our lives would be without heartache. I share that truth at the risk of sounding as if I’m trying to minimize grief, but I remind you of this because some are at risk of falling into a snare of bitterness against God. If we believe we are owed a life without pain, we may feel disillusioned, abandoned, and lied to when we inevitably do feel pain—especially if one tragedy strikes right after another. In our struggle to catch a breath, we may find it difficult to remember the goodness of God when faced with tremendous loss. Job cried, «The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.» While it’s easier said than done, we can praise in the midst of pain; we can trust God even when nothing makes sense. Remember, we don’t serve a God who is cold and distant; He is near to us, and He understands our pain. He’s the only one who ever truly can. Christ Himself experienced the pain of grief. The king was distressed, but because of his oaths and his dinner guests, he ordered that her request be granted and had John beheaded in prison. His head was brought in on a platter and given to the girl who carried it to her mother. John’s disciples came and took his body and buried it, then they went and told Jesus. When Jesus heard what had happened, He withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. I believe that Jesus went away to a solitary place to grieve, to weep, to pray. The Lord Jesus can empathize with us. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven—Jesus, the Son of God—let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet He did not sin. (That’s Hebrews 4:14 and 15.) You can be angry; you can ask questions; you can weep; you can grieve. The Lord isn’t going to hold it against you; He’s going to hold you. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (That’s Psalm 34:18.) In our grief, let us not forget our great hope. Only in God can we find hope for the future, the strength to continue. If grief is an impossible burden to bear, then hope is that help that makes it just possible enough. To whom can we turn when death strikes? No man or woman, no matter how powerful, can prevent or reverse death. No man or woman, no matter how wise, can make sense of it. Only God can give us hope in times of loss and grief. This is why Paul the Apostle wrote, «Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.» According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive and are left until the coming of the Lord will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we’ll be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage one another with these words. It is the hope of Heaven that removes the sting of death, and Christ Himself is that hope. Help spread this message of hope with others by leaving a like on this video. Paul the Apostle likens death for the believer to sleep; it’s temporary. One day they will live again. Though it might not be true, I once heard it said that as we enter into the gates of Heaven, we’ll enter alongside those who died years before we did. What is true is that time, from the perspective…