Dharius Daniels - Approval Addiction

The Scripture I want to read is from the book of Exodus, the second book of the Old Testament. «Exodus» means exit, and it details Israel’s exit from Egypt. Exodus 18:13 says this: «The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people. They stood around him all morning until evening. When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, 'What is this you’re doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge while all these people stand around you from morning to evening? ' Moses answered him, 'Because the people come to me to seek out God’s will. Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions.' Moses' father-in-law replied, 'What you are doing is not good.' " I will end the reading of that scripture right there, and I want to talk from this subject during our time together: «Y’all talking back today or nah?» I just want to make sure it’s registering. I don’t know; some of you did not get that. I want to talk from this subject: «Approval Addiction.»

As I was preparing for this presentation today, I reflected on an experience I had previously that I felt might be relevant for this sermon. Many of you are aware that your pastor has had, and has been delivered from, a unique insatiable appetite for sweets. I’m about to go old school on some of y’all—I’m talking about Sugar Babies, Sugar Daddies, Boston Baked Beans. Young people might be like, «What?» Okay, we’re about to go way back: the Chico Stick. One of the conclusions I reached upon reflection is that my appetite and interest in sweets were, first of all, sociological. I saw it with my dad, and then when I engaged in an activity, because sugar has addictive qualities, it became physiological. I saw it, I wanted it, and when I got it, my body had to have it. What’s weird is I did not know how unique my interest in sugar was; that was all I saw, and that was all I knew. My dysfunction felt normal—until I got married.

I remember one instance very specifically. I got a box of mini honey buns, and while the average person takes their box of honey buns to the kitchen, your boy takes his honey buns to the bedroom. So, I placed that box of honey buns right by my nightstand. Now, I know some of you wake up in the middle of the night because you’re thirsty and get water. Well, I woke up one day at about two o’clock in the morning with a craving, an urge, an unction for a honey bun. So at 2:00 in the morning, I’m opening the box, rattling the paper. When you want what you want, you’re insensitive to the impact it has on others. I was inconsiderate of the fact that I had an individual sitting next to me who loved and cared for me, cooked for me, and supported me. I was disregarding someone who was an asset in my life because when you want what you want, you’re often unaware of the impact your appetite has on other people.

So, I’m rattling that paper, and she sits up in bed and looks at me. She says, «Are you eating a honey bun?» I said, «Yes.» She said, «At 2:00 in the morning?» I said… and before she lay back down, she looked at me and said words I’d never heard regarding my sugar habit. Her words were a light that shone on a blind spot in my life. I was blindsided by my blind spot when she released these words before rolling over and going back to sleep: «You have a problem.» She said, «Just because it’s not killing you doesn’t mean it’s not killing you.» Those words may seem simple to you, but they were a revelation for me. The necessity of those words is indicative of how our adversary works. The Bible calls Satan the Prince of Darkness. Darkness is not just a metaphor for evil; it’s also a metaphor for ignorance. To be in the dark means to be unaware; it means to be ignorant. The Bible says that wherever we are unaware, wherever we are in the dark, the enemy has an advantage over us. You’ve heard it said, «What you don’t know won’t hurt you.» I’m arguing that what you don’t know is probably already killing you.

I had a problem, and I didn’t know it until I got around someone who was not normalized into my dysfunction. What if I told some of you who are sitting in this sacred space or watching me online right now that it is quite possible for you to have a problem too and not even know it? If I had continued down that path concerning my eating habits, especially as I’m getting older and my body is changing, I could be dealing with some repercussions of something that didn’t kill me but can affect me now. What if I told you there could be aspects of our lives that have been impacting and adversely affecting us that we remain unaware of? It hasn’t killed us up to this point, but we’re on the verge of stepping into a season where, if we don’t address it, it can hurt us now. There are people who may not be addicted to honey buns, but they are addicted to approval.