Dharius Daniels - That's a Foul

I’m going right back to First Corinthians, chapter number 13. We’ve been having some interesting conversations in this series, «Loving Basketball.» First Corinthians 13, verse number 4, says this: «Love is kind.» Patient love is kind. Love does not envy; love does not boast; love is not proud. It doesn’t dishonor others; it’s not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. I want to pause for the cause, and I’m going to stop here for the benefit of brevity. I’ll talk from this subject in our time together. Last week, it was «Don’t Foul Out.» This week, it’s «That’s a Foul.» Last week, we articulated an axiom in our introduction that I think needs to be repeated: Some advancement comes from elimination. In other words, some things get better not when we start doing something new but when we stop doing something old. I believe this principle applies not only to life but also to relationships. In the area of relationships, there are behaviors from time to time that need to cease if the relationship is going to improve. Paul clearly claims here in First Corinthians chapter number 13 that this is, in some sense, an expression of love. Love doesn’t just start things; love stops things. The refusal to cease practices and behaviors that are injuring, harming, or adversely affecting the person I’m in a relationship with, if we were to use basketball terminology, would be considered a foul. Last week, we talked about types of fouls. Last week, we talked about the consequences of fouls, but I began to think about the question that most, if not many, of you have: Who determines what a foul is? Well, to some degree in a relationship, the couple determines that. You have to customize your coupleship. You’ve got to customize your relationship, so to some degree, you have to consistently communicate and articulate what you feel like injures you. However, there are certain things that are not up for discussion or negotiation because I believe this is the first place we need to start: How God defines fouls. God made the human species; God made the human race, and God knows what is in their best interest. God is the one who created relationships, so He knows how to get the best out of them. In our time together, I’m not playing any games; I’m going straight to work. In our time together, I want to help you identify at least five behavioral patterns that, if we engage in them, God would say, «That’s a foul.» Number one, here it is for my note-takers—I told you we’re not playing; it’s all meat this month—here it is: Number one, here’s a foul: It’s de-prioritization. When a person is married—and oh, it’s about to get tight—and they do not prioritize the marital relationship above all other earthly relationships, the Scriptures would say that’s a foul. Now we may not agree with it, but the referee is still going to blow the whistle. Here it is because the Scriptures are clear and communicated in Genesis that a man, listen to this, shall leave, uh-huh, his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Okay, what are the Scriptures doing there? They’re establishing relational priority. They’re not saying that a person should disregard their father and mother; the Bible says we should honor our father and mother so that our days would be long upon the earth. We should honor them as long as we live. So it’s not saying to disregard; it is not saying to forsake. Of course, we should take care of our parents if they took care of us when we couldn’t take care of ourselves. Of course, we’re going to take care of our parents when they can’t take care of themselves. That’s not what Paul is speaking to here. But he is saying that in order for marriage to function the way that God intended for it to function, it has to be, what’s this, the most important earthly relationship you have. It has to be a priority. Am I making sense here? Yeah, it has to be a priority. And listen to me, you prioritize what you love. You prioritize what you love. I have friends in different parts of the country; I have a lot of friends in the South who grew up in the South. I grew up in the South, but I didn’t grow up hunting. My daddy wasn’t much of a hunter, so I wasn’t much of a hunter. It wasn’t something that I picked up, and so I have friends who like to hunt. Some of them get up early to hunt. I’m talking about like early, early to hunt. I’m like, «Okay, I don’t know if I know; I will get up that early sometimes.» I don’t get up that early to pray. They get up early, early to hunt. I say, «Now listen, I’m not going; I’m making light of this, but Bambi did nothing to me, so I’m not going to shoot Bambi. What did Bambi do to me? I’m not buying a Bambi.» This is the point I’m making, though. So they like to hunt, and I see, man, they get up early, and it’s cold, especially when they’re hunting deer, and it’s cold. They put on the fatigues, and then they go out; some of them sit in deer stands for hours, and they just sit and wait for a deer to come by after.