Dharius Daniels - Who's at Your Table?

Matthew chapter 26, verse 20 says, «When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve.» While they were eating, he said, «Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.» They were very sad and began to say to one another, «Surely you don’t mean me, Lord.» Jesus replied, «The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it was written about him, but woe to the man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.» Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, «Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi.» Jesus answered, «You have said so.» I want to talk about this subject during our time together. The subject is a question. The question comes from verse 20, which says, «Jesus is reclining at the table.» Here it is, family: Who’s at your table? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, it’s the first Sunday of the year, and I think we need to talk. We need to have a dialogue about your destiny. We need to have a pep talk about your purpose. We need to have a critical conversation about the single greatest contributor to living a flourishing, fulfilling, and fruitful life. We need to talk about your relationships. We need to talk about your relationships because this is an essential area that most people underestimate. They are unaware of the implications of who they have in their life and who they allow to influence their life. They are oblivious to the reality that their spiritual, emotional, professional, and financial well-being is impacted by those in their life. The Bible puts it this way in Proverbs chapter 13, verse 20: Proverbs is a book of the Bible situated in a section called wisdom literature. It’s literature that God wants to use to make us wise because it’s possible to live righteously and still not live well. «Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.» Solomon, who wrote this proverb, says we evolve into who we are around. He also stated in Proverbs 27:17, «As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.» In other words, family, there are no neutral relationships, no casual relationships. They either push us forward or pull us backward; they push us into purpose or push us into pain; they bring us joy or they bring us sorrow. People are sent from God or sent by the devil, so we must not only evaluate who comes into our life but also ask ourselves who sent them. Were they sent by God for my advancement and development, or were they sent by the adversary to be a distraction that ultimately leads to my destruction? Relationships matter. A friend of mine once said this, and I never forgot it: «There’s no such thing as a neutral relationship.» It may feel neutral, but it’s not. There’s no such thing as a neutral relationship. Our relationships either move us forward or move us backward; they help us or hurt us. They are bringing us closer to God’s plan and purpose for us or moving us further away. Now, this is what’s scary about this: There’s a scripture that says, «Don’t be misled; bad company corrupts good character.» So here’s the thought: The thought he leads with is, «Don’t be misled,» which means it’s possible to be unaware of the impact that a relationship is having on you. Yeah, right? So this is important. Look, a little bit later we’re going to talk about assessment because in the book we give tools on how to actually assess the impact that relationships are having on you. I’m kind of jumping ahead here, but one of those tools is being able to ask yourself non-judgmental feeling questions about how you really feel when you interact with this person. You know, especially when you’re a person of faith, sometimes we’re so busy filtering our feelings that we don’t feel our feelings, asking, «Should I feel this way?» or «Is it wrong for me to feel this way?» or «Is this judgmental?» when the truth is our emotions are messengers—they’re the equivalent of a check engine light in a car. They’re telling you, «Hey, you need to pay attention to this.» They matter—they matter. God would not have invented them if they did not matter. When God created the human species, you and me, he created us to be relational. As long as I’ve got King Jesus, I don’t need anybody else. Great song! I know the intent of the heart; it means very well. However, it’s not great theology. We need other people. That’s not what the song is suggesting—it’s saying we don’t need other people. I get the point of the song, but at times we can be so bruised and burned by betrayal that we adopt an attitude suggesting we don’t need what God designed us to operate with. Relationships—are you here, family? Somebody say, «Relationships matter.» They matter, family. God created them. When he created the human species, Adam, he looked at his creation, evaluated it, and said, «It’s not good that man be alone.» Here’s the trip, y’all: He wasn’t alone; animals were there. So the fact that he said, «I need to create another aspect of the human species,» the female, indicates that he recognized he didn’t just need company; he needed someone to complement him so he could carry out the calling that God had for the human species. Thus, the creation of woman was not just God’s intention to give a man a wife.