Dharius Daniels - How to Select Your Soulmate

He’ll find a way to get it to you because God is a provider. So the quintessential question for this sermon is: does that provision extend to my relationships? Does that provision include a mate for my soul? I don’t think we can adequately answer that question without accurately understanding a couple of things. For me, I believe it’s important to be clear about what I mean when I say «soulmate» because when someone in culture refers to a soulmate, they may mean one thing, but when I say «soulmate,» I want you to be clear on what I mean. I am arguing, family, that you cannot have an accurate understanding of soulmate without an accurate understanding of a soul.

We could even argue, etymologically, that a soulmate is a mate for my soul. So, what is my soul? The Bible speaks very specifically and frequently about it. In Genesis 2:7, the Bible says, «And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.» In the Book of James, James 1:21, the Bible clearly states that we need to put away all filthiness and lay aside the overflow of wickedness. Watch this: receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your soul.

Now, wait a minute. If James is writing to people who are already believers, what does he mean when he says «save my soul»? If I’m saved, is my soul not saved? What about when Jesus says in Mark 8:35, «For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and the gospel will save it»? For what good is it for someone to gain the whole world yet forfeit their soul?

The soul is so significant. In 3 John 2, John, writing to a group of believers, says, «Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers.» He seems to be saying that as my soul goes, so goes my life. Family, the soul is the invisible, intangible, psychological, and emotional part of our existence that includes my mind, my will, my emotions, my imaginations, and my affections. I’m not just physical, and I’m not just spiritual; I’m psychological and emotional. I have a mind, which is the organ of thought; I have a will, which is an organ of decision; I have emotions and affections, and your affections are what attach you to people emotionally. Did you hear what I just said? That’s my soul.

So, if that is my soul, then Pastor Darius, what is a soulmate? I’m glad you asked me that. They’re going to put it on the screens for those of you who want to take note of this: a soulmate, watch this, is a God-ordained pick. Wait a minute, this is important because at some point I have to do a teaching series on decision-making and the role it plays in our destiny. Whom the Lord foreknew, He predestined to be the firstborn of many brothers. God predestines according to His foreknowledge. He chooses and seals for me the choice I made; He saw the choices I would make before I made them, and He seals those choices.

He can have a preference for me, a will for me, but I need to choose what He’s chosen for me in order to experience what He wants for me. One of the ways that the devil can detour me from destiny is to debilitate me in the area of my decision-making. When you deal with soulmates in relationship selection, it’s all about decision-making because it’s hard to have a good relationship with a bad pick, right? Finding a soulmate is about choosing who’s been chosen, and good decision-making begins with having good self-awareness.

If I’m not self-aware, I can’t make good decisions because if I’m not aware, I’m deceived. Are you hearing me? When we’re growing emotionally and spiritually, we can see areas in which we need to grow and not feel bad about ourselves. I’m going to tell you, when you’re really growing, it’s when you look at areas where you need to grow and laugh at yourself. You’d be like, «I need some help. That was crazy; I’m a mess. Somebody pray for me.»

Here it is: at some point, if people are going to change the relationship trajectory of their lives, they have to own, «I don’t pick well.» You have to be aware that you don’t do a good job of picking because you thought that was going to be amazing, but it turned out to be crazy. It wasn’t even close to amazing; it was terrible. After that one, I thought, «Well, this is better because I learned my lesson from the last one,» and then I got with that one and thought, «That’s the same thing! It was just taller, stronger, bigger, and had more money, but it’s the same thing.»

Then I went to this one and said, «I really got this one because God is in this one.» But then I realized this isn’t anything but the devil. I thought it was God, but it’s nothing but the devil! We have to be honest and say, «You know what, Jesus? I think you should pick next time.» Where are my authentic, honest, and self-aware people? Next time, you just…