Dharius Daniels - 2 Powerful Truths Every Christian Couple Needs

If I have to get dysfunctional for you to understand what I’m talking about, let me move to this side. We have to get volatile and toxic for you; I have to throw something for you to know that I’m upset. Truth—speaking the truth in love—we ought to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ. Here’s what’s powerful about this passage: it says that speaking the truth in love allows us to grow in every way. Truth not only helps the person who is willing to hear it; it also grows the person who is willing to speak it. Jimmy Evans says that truth without love is mean, and love without truth is meaningless. Truth in love is medicine. So there are two types of truth you have to speak in a relationship. Can I share them with you? There’s God’s truth, but also your truth. For relationships to work, we need to not only speak God’s truth, but we must also speak our truth. You cannot meet the needs of your partner without their input; they must be able to express their truth. Am I making sense? This means you give them the gift of what Henry Cloud calls «otherness.» It means you have a right to an opinion that differs from mine. It means that even though we are one, that oneness is not absolute unity; it’s composite unity. It’s not that we are two halves that come together to make a whole; God’s math is multiplication, not addition. We are not halves that come together to make one; we are two wholes that come together to make one. So we are here: «O Israel, the Lord our God is one.» The same word for oneness that describes the Trinity is also the word that describes the union in marriage—one flesh. This means that we are like the Trinity: we are one but distinct. I get to think differently; I get to feel differently. I don’t have to like what you like, and I don’t have to agree. You have to love me—do you want to be with me, or do you want me to be you? I’m done.

You’d be amazed how some people will only hear truth from their partner if it’s a truth they agree with. If you want to be with you, just be single. Number four: trust. If there’s any area where I feel couples struggle, it’s right here. Because here’s the truth: y’all ready? When I say «truth, ” I mean that anecdotally, I can’t speak for everyone—this is my experience in ministry and the marketplace dealing with people. Most people trust their best friends more than their spouses, based on my observations. I’m not saying this is true for everybody, but in my experience, most best friends know more about them than their spouses do, and it’s because of trust. Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; but he who is trustworthy keeps a thing covered. Here’s what I love about Proverbs 31, and I believe this principle should apply to both men and women: it says that the heart of her husband safely trusts her.