Dharius Daniels - Silent Killers

Her brother Absalom said to her, «Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he’s your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.» Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman. When King David heard all of this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad, and he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar. I want to talk from this subject today: Silent Killers. Look at somebody and say, «Your silence can kill you.» Amen. Thank you, man of God; I appreciate that.

It’s been said that there was a husband who was observing the activity of his wife while she was cooking. He noticed that while she was cooking a ham, she cut a quarter of the ham off the back and another quarter off the front, leaving her with half a ham to be put in the pan for the oven. He was puzzled by this practice, so he asked her, «Why is it that you cut off half of the ham before you put it in the pan?» To which she replied, «I don’t know; I saw my mother do it.» She then hopped on the phone and contacted her mother. She asked her mother the same question: «Mom, I noticed that you cut off a quarter of the ham from the front and a quarter from the back, leaving us with half a ham to be placed in the pan before putting it in the oven. Why did you do it that way?» To which her mother replied, «I don’t know; I saw my mother do it.»

So then the granddaughter called the grandmother and said, «Grandma, I just finished asking Mom this question, and I wanted to ask you. She said that while she was growing up, she noticed you would cut off a quarter of the ham from the front and a quarter from the back before putting it in the pan for the oven. Why did you do that?» She said, «Well, first of all, baby, your mother only saw me do that once, and secondly, I did it that one time because I didn’t have a pan big enough to hold the entire ham.»

Although this is an interesting analogy, it paints a powerful picture of how many of us can adopt traits, tendencies, and trends that we were exposed to without consciously being aware of why we have adopted these practices in our own lives. This analogy is an amazing example of what we’re discussing in this series of teachings called Bloodlines. In this series, we’re arguing that some practices we perpetuate were not just adopted arbitrarily; we inherited them through our bloodline. Somebody say yes!

In this particular analogy regarding the ham, I think it’s incredibly important because it leads me down a lane I want to spend some time unpacking today. There are two types of bloodline issues: heart issues and habit issues. Everybody say habit. Issues of the heart are issues that are caught; issues of habit are issues that are taught. They are either taught to us through direct instruction or through our exposure. Do you not know that you can learn things you had no intention of learning? How many can relate to singing songs you didn’t try to learn? Okay, let’s take it a step further: how many of you have ever caught yourself singing a song you don’t even like and keep saying to yourself, «I can’t get this song out of my head»?

You can acquire knowledge either intentionally or unintentionally. Am I making sense? When it’s intentional, that’s through instruction. When it is unintentional, ladies and gentlemen, that is through exposure. Sometimes we are exposed to practices that we adopt in our own lives, and they become habits. Some of those habits need to be affirmed because they are helpful, but others need to be evaluated because they are not helpful.

See, when you have a ham habit, all you mess up is a ham. When you have a life habit, you can mess up your life. Did you hear what I just said? I said when you have a ham habit, you just mess up food. When you have a life habit, you can mess up your future. The text we just read in the book of Second Samuel 13 is an incredible example of that. There are a few characters in this story I want you to be familiar with.

First, there’s a character named David. Everybody say David. Come on, say it again: David. Okay, David is the father in this text. David has a son named Amnon. Everybody say Amnon. Amnon is David’s son, but David also has another son named Absalom. Everybody say Absalom.

So, to recap: David is the father, Amnon is one son, and Absalom is another son. But David also has a daughter named Tamar. Amnon is the half-brother of Tamar, while Absalom is the full brother of Tamar. Everybody follow me here? David is the father, Tamar is the daughter, Amnon is the half-brother of Tamar, and Absalom is the full brother of Tamar. This is what’s interesting.