Dharius Daniels - Where's Bae?

I want to read a scripture found in the Book of Ruth, chapter number two. It reads like this: Ruth, chapter two, verse five. Boaz asked the overseers of his harvesters, «Whom does that young woman belong to?» I want to talk from the subject, «Who is that?» It’s a question, and the question is, «Where’s BAE?» Where’s BAE? Family, I want to adequately assert that besides making a decision to follow the person, the principles, and the practices of Jesus, who a person chooses as a life partner is one of the most consequential decisions they will ever make. I use the term «life partner» strategically and intentionally because when discussing subjects such as marriage and concepts like soul mates, it’s important to know and to note that you aren’t just getting a person; you are getting a partner. Someone say, «partner.» You are, ladies and gentlemen, getting someone who does more than provide you with company; they are contributing to the course and the quality of your life.

It’s important to reframe relationships this way because how you behold a thing determines how you behave in it. How you see it determines how you treat it. If you view relationships as casual, inconsequential company keepers, then you will treat them that way. However, if you see long-term relationships as people you are choosing to be life partners with, then you’ll treat them differently. Someone that you might trust to bake you a cake is not the same person you would trust to perform open-heart surgery; they are not the same. Can I hear a good Amen there? When we say «I do,» we’re saying more than «I do» to a boo; we’re saying much more than what we may assume. When we say, «I do,» we’re saying, «I do choose to buy property with you. I do choose to manage finances with you. I do choose to raise children with you. I do choose to be a roommate with you. I do choose to wake up and look at you every morning until I die.»

Let’s not make sense of what we’re saying. I do mean when it comes to strengths; I do when it comes to weaknesses. I do in the sense that I put my welfare in the hands of your decisions. Because when I make decisions as a single person, my decisions primarily affect me. But when I’m in a relationship, my decisions no longer affect just me; they affect the person I’m partnering with. What we do with our money affects them. What we do with our job affects them. The hours we work affect them. The time we leave home and the time we get home affects them. The energy we exert while we’re on the job determines the energy we have left when we get home, and that affects them. Am I making sense? What they do with their time affects you. What they do with their resources affects you. What they do with their body affects you; what they do with their body can put your life in jeopardy.

So when you say, «I do,» you’re saying more than «I do» to somebody cute. I want to say, «I do» to somebody that I want to partner with in building the life God has called me to live. Can I hear an Amen right there? Therefore, because relationships are so consequential, we shouldn’t treat them casually. This is an area where we really want to make wise decisions, not just emotional ones. This is why, as I talked about last year in the series «Before You Do» and «After You Did,» the dating process is so important. Dating is the context where people gather data, am I making sense? The data is important because you can’t make a good decision with bad information. Dating provides the data that we need so that the decisions we make are informed, not just emotional.

I know culture says, «Follow your heart.» That sounds good on a meme; it looks good on a graphic, but it does not always translate well in practice. Because the Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Our hearts can feel strongly about something or someone that is wrong. I said our hearts can feel strong about someone or something that is wrong. We can fall in love with someone who feels good to us but is not good for us. And anyone—maybe this is for the twelve o’clock service, but I’ll throw it out here just in case—anyone who has an ex that you look back at and scratch your head about should be saying Amen right here. We can feel strongly about someone who is wrong for us. Make sense?

So, we need to be informed, and this is why we want to allow God, who came up with the idea of relationships, to guide us in this area. For those of us who will be guiding others, we want God to guide us in guiding others in making those decisions. Some of the most important advice you will ever give to people you love the most is relationship advice because nothing affects their lives like relationships. Did you know what I just said? Some of the most important advice you will ever give to your friends, your children, your mentees, or anyone you have influence with will be in the area of relationships. Make sense? And so, God’s Word gives us guidance on this, and there’s…