Dharius Daniels - 4 Keys to Better Speaking

What’s up? I need to tell you something real quick. I learned this a long time ago, and it changed my entire life. I hope you’re ready for it. Whatever it is that you’re building, you could build it better if you get better with words. I’m going to say that one more time; I want to make sure you heard exactly what I just said. Whatever it is that you’re building—maybe you’re building a company, maybe you’re building a brand, maybe you’re building a marriage, maybe you’re building a parental relationship, maybe you’re building a professional relationship—I don’t know what you’re building, but I will tell you this: whatever it is, you could build it better if you got better with words. I am telling you, the skill of speaking is probably one of the most underrated skills in existence. You know, Warren Buffett said it’s the most important skill you can develop. I call it a meta-skill. What does that mean? A meta-skill is like a catalytic skill. Darius, what’s that? It’s when you learn this skill; it makes learning other skills easier. It’s like a domino effect. If you like this, I want you to check out this image of dominoes. Imagine dominoes lined up; let’s say one domino falls, then the entire row falls. That meta-skill is that one domino. If I get this thing right, I get a lot of other things right, and that’s what speaking and communication are—a meta-skill, that one domino. If you get better with words, you get better in your relationships. One of the avenues to intimacy—the emotional connection with someone else’s authentic self and your authentic self—is communication. You can’t resolve relational conflict without communication; you can’t parent well without communication. Everything—when I say everything, I mean everything—is impacted by communication. If you coach a sports team, you’ve got to communicate; you have to speak before the game, during the game, and after the game. If you’re leading a team, or if you’re in management, you need to communicate; you have to talk to those above you, to those below you, and to your peers. You’ve got to cast vision, give correction, and provide direction. Everything is impacted by this skill of communication.

But this is what I learned, and it’s a bit baffling for me: although this is one of the most important skills anyone in any industry can develop, it is one of the least emphasized. Guys, listen to me; I am called to add value to people through the instrument of ministry, but also through conventional avenues of ministry and ministry in the marketplace through entrepreneurship. I am telling you, I am in masterminds, mentorship groups, and things of that nature where people are being trained and mentored to do all types of things that cannot be done well without the skill of speaking. People are being trained on how to create a course, how to market a course, how to sell a course, and how to create a lead magnet for a course. But here’s the thing about a course: you’ve got to speak. We can create lead magnets; we can strategize and outline, but you’ve got to speak. Teaching is speaking.

Listen to this. No judgment, just observations—maybe some of you have had experiences like mine. I remember sitting in school, in classes with certain professors or teachers who were incredibly bright, brilliant geniuses, yet I was disinterested and disengaged. That was not just because I had a short attention span; it was because they were knowledgeable but not skilled in actually communicating that knowledge. They would be monotone, with no storytelling and no engagement. Sometimes, I would sit in class thinking, «Oh my God, this is agony. I’m suffering.» Their ability to acquire information changes their life, but their ability to communicate it is what changes others. Did you hear what I just said? Their ability to acquire information changes their life, but your ability to communicate it is what changes others.

So, I think we need less emphasis on strategy and structure and more emphasis on the skill of speaking because that is actually going to deliver whatever value you have in your mind. Speaking is the way to get it out there. Now, this is what some people, when they hear «speaking,» think of keynoting. Yes, that may be for some, but most people won’t keynote. However, everyone will have to speak. If you’re selling, you’re speaking. You might be thinking, «No, Darius, I’m an author; I do writing.» Well, how are people going to find out about the book? When you release a book, you’re going to have to market it in some way. At some point, even if you don’t talk a lot, you’re going to have to discuss the book. We can’t get around this skill.