Dharius Daniels - Family Fights

My name is Darius Daniels, and I have the privilege of serving as the lead pastor of this incredible spiritual family called Change Church. We’re glad to have you with us today, and I’m excited about all that I believe God is going to do. We are closing out a series of sermons today with the subject «Respectfully,» and I have some kingdom keys that I believe will help us. I want to jump right into the lesson, if that’s all right.

Let’s look together at the Gospel of Luke, chapter number 2. I want to begin reading at verse number 41. The Gospel according to Luke, chapter number 2, begins at verse 41. This is what it says: «Every year Jesus’s parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of Passover. When he was 12 years old, they went up to the festival according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it, thinking he was in their company. They traveled on for a day, then began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they didn’t find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days, they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said, 'Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.' 'Why were you searching for me? ' he asked. 'Didn’t you know I had to be in my father’s house? ' But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart, and Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with man.»

I want to talk about this subject as we close out this Tough Talk series. I want to discuss family fights. This text here in Luke exposes us to an extremely interesting exchange. Someone put «interesting» in the chat! We are allowed to eavesdrop on a tough talk between family members. It’s Jesus, the son, attempting to articulate to Mary, his mother, that his destiny requires a shift in direction that is different from what she desires. It exposes us to Jesus trying to communicate to those he loved, valued, honored, and respected that, although you are my priority, you are not the only part of my purpose. Jesus is expressing the sentiments of his heart by saying, «You are my business, but I have business other than you.»

It’s a complicated conversation, yet it is almost inevitable for anyone who desires to live a purpose-driven life. Sometimes, purpose takes you outside the preferences of those who love you most. Y’all are talking to me here! I said sometimes purpose will take you outside the preferences of people who love you the most. Sometimes, purpose requires geographical shifts, leading you to move to different parts and places of the country and the world, creating distance between you and those you love most. That’s a complicated conundrum. Sometimes, purpose places you in a relational space where you must manage your circle differently and be strategic in your interactions. People will often interpret that as you shifting away and changing, not valuing them as you used to. That’s a complicated conundrum.

These are conundrums in any context, but it becomes extremely complicated when it happens with family. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of this. Adam had to have tough talks with Abel. Abraham had to have tough talks with Lot. Jacob had to have a tough talk with Esau. Joseph had tough talks with his brothers. David had to have tough talks with Absalom. Bathsheba had to have tough talks with Solomon. Paul had tough talks with Peter. All throughout Scripture, we see examples in both natural and spiritual families where tough talks were necessary.

What do you do when destiny shifts your direction in a way that differs from the desires of those who love you, raised you, or were there for you when no one else was? I believe Jesus, the ultimate example of how to manage any conundrum, reveals to us in Luke some best practices for doing so.

I want to set some context here. The text opens—we read it—by informing us that every single year, Jesus’s parents went to Jerusalem for the festival of Passover. Jesus, at this point, is 12, which means for 12 years, his family has been journeying from Nazareth to Jerusalem to attend the Feast of Passover. Passover was an eight-day festival where people reflected on and rejoiced over God’s provision for His people during the days of Moses. It was a time when they took eight days to remember the season and circumstance when the angel of death passed through Egypt, and God gave Moses prophetic insight and preemptive instruction to take the blood from a lamb and put it on the doorpost. When I see the blood, I’ll pass over, serving as a metaphor for what the blood of the Lamb of Jesus would do. It marked ownership, saying, «Don’t touch this house.»