Dharius Daniels - 4 Reasons You Need to BREAK UP

What’s up? Hey! In this video, I want to talk to you about four reasons to break up. Let’s go! Hey, so check this out: one of the dominant demographics that I am serving is people who are not married. I think several factors contribute to that. One is the age of the dominant demographic that I serve. So, what do I mean by that? I mean the dominant demographic that watches a video like this. Obviously, we can look at the analytics; the dominant demographics that are part of our coaching programs, like Daniels (n) Bible You Coaching Programs and our Inner Circle, reflect this. The majority of them aren’t married. I’m not saying we don’t serve those who are married, but for the most part, many of them aren’t. Their age is a factor, and people are waiting longer to get married, which is also a factor. Additionally, the divorce rate of marriages plays a role.

Anyway, I wanted to create a video not necessarily about marriage, but about dating, because a lot of the questions I get are not about marriage; they are about dating. I think I’ll create a video later on something like «Rating Your Dating.» However, I want to focus on breaking up because, for the most part, a person isn’t going to date one person and that be the only person they ever date. Generally speaking, you aren’t going to find your husband or wife the very first time you date someone, right? I know some people might say, «Define dating.» I’ll address that in another video. For now, you can take whatever dating means for you and apply this to that situation.

The point I’m making is that, if I think it’s inevitable that most people go through breakups, how can you experience a breakup in a way that doesn’t break you? How can you decide when it’s time to break up? Sometimes you just know when it’s time, while other times, people don’t realize it’s time. So, how do I recognize and discern when this dating relationship is no longer serving me well, and I need to pivot? Well, I want to give you not all the reasons—because I don’t know all the reasons—but I want to present four of them to consider. If you don’t know when to break up, your unwillingness or inability to do so may put you in a situation that could break you.

As a coach and a pastor, I have seen that few things contribute to trauma more than relationship-related matters. It can truly ruin lives. I believe in redemption, so you don’t have to be ruined eternally, but the point I’m making is that you want to handle breakups as positively as possible. I’m not advocating for a breakup; I’m not telling you to break up; I don’t know if you should or not. But if the four things I’m about to mention are happening, they may be reasons to consider breaking up.

All right, here’s number one: break up if the relationship is breaking you. Darius, what do you mean by that? I mean you have a responsibility—and this is so important. A friend of mine and I discussed this the other day. I think especially for people of faith, like followers of Jesus, one of the issues is that bad theology often leads to bad practices. You can have good intentions and a good heart while being sincerely wrong in your interpretation of certain biblical principles. You can be well-meaning but sincerely mistaken. If you’re wrong in your interpretation, you will be wrong in your actions. Orthodoxy produces orthopraxy. If you misunderstand what you’ve learned, you’ll implement the wrong things.

Many people confuse self-sacrifice with self-destructive behavior. They think engaging in self-destructive behavior is living a sacrificial life. However, that is not the same thing. You are responsible for stewarding your soul, which encompasses your mind, will, emotions, imaginations, and affections. As a steward, you must monitor and pay attention to those things that can harm your soul. When I talk about breaking you, I’m not just referring to financial harm—though some relationships can lead to that. It’s much easier to recover from lost money than it is when a person loses themselves. It often takes people a much longer time to recover from that.