Dharius Daniels - 4 Types of People You Need In Your Life

What’s up? This is Darius Daniels, and in this video, I’m about to share with you the four types of people you need in your life. Listen, I’ve learned something vital: all people are equal—whether on the street or Wall Street. We are all made in the image of God. Thank you. All people are equal, but just because everyone is equal doesn’t mean everyone adds equal value to you. If you don’t understand that, you will live your life dealing with chronic and consistent frustration. Watch this, because there will be expectations we have of people that those individuals not only may not meet, but sometimes they cannot meet them. We had this saying growing up in Mississippi: «You can’t get blood out of a turnip.» No matter how much you squeeze it, if it’s not in there, it’s simply not in there.

So, I think it’s important to recognize that even though everyone in my life is equally valuable, I need to release myself from the expectation that everyone will add equal value to me—they won’t. And listen to this: you won’t add equal value to everyone in your life either. Should you add some value to everyone in your life? Absolutely. But there are various factors that determine how much value you can add. I’m going to say that again. Should you add value to everyone in your life? Yes, as best as you can. However, you can’t add equal value to everyone, even if you wanted to, because it’s one thing for you to give value, and another for others to receive it. There are factors outside of your control that determine how much value you can add and where you can invest that value.

I want to give you a framework to help you discern and determine what you should expect in terms of value and who you should expect it from, as well as where you should invest and how to be strategic about investing in others. That’s why I believe you need to be clear about the four types of people that everyone needs in their life. Let me give them to you.

Here’s the first one: Friends. Listen to this—I want you to catch it. Jesus said, «No greater love has a man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friends.» He lays down his life for his friends. He is speaking literally, of course, but I believe it also applies metaphorically. What’s the principle, Darius? Friends get your life. Did you catch that? Friends get your life. I’m about to share some other categories in a minute. Other people may get your gifts. There are people who receive my gifts without being my friends. Others may get your time; there are things that take my time that aren’t friends—video games sometimes get my time. Other things may get my talent, but friends get me. I think it’s crucial for us to wrap our heads around that, especially considering that out of all four kinds of people, friendship is one of the most important.

Your friends will get the real you, and what does that mean? It means that probably no one else will have the ability to help you, speak into you, or advise you like friends can. You know, I’m a coach, and I spend time coaching various individuals and groups. One thing I realize is that people will pay you to not be honest with them; it’s the weirdest thing. They’ll set up appointments with you and then not be truthful, which, hey, I’m not judging here. The point I’m making is that you’re more likely to be your real self with friends.

So here’s something you should expect in friendship: «There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.» Here is my best definition of friendship: Friends are what family is supposed to be, without the last name. Sometimes there are bonds you have with people who aren’t your family that are stronger than those you have with your family. This doesn’t imply that your family is bad or wrong; it just means there is a different bond. I don’t have physical or biological brothers, but there are friends who are like brothers to me. When they need me, I respond like family, and when I need them, they treat me like family, because in family, there is reciprocation. In friendships, there should also be reciprocation. It doesn’t mean you do the same thing for each other, but it does mean that where there’s friendship, there should be an expectation of added value, and you should feel safe.