Keith Battle - SideChickology - Part 2

All right, let me get into this. Proverbs chapter 5, verse 3. I’m going to read a couple of verses in the passage to try to get a feel for what’s happening in this chapter. Some of you may be familiar with it. I just want to read—let me start at verse 3: «For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.» Verse 8: «Stay away from her,» that’s what it says. «Don’t go near the door of her house.» Verse 15: «Drink water from your own well; share your love only with your wife.» Verse 20: «Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?»

My subtopic is «Inside Psychology.» In 2015, I delivered a message here called «Side Psychology,» and some of you may remember that message. There was such a response to it that it challenged me to delve deeper and explore further into this topic. As a result, over the last several years, I’ve been working on a book for which I’ve completed the manuscript; it is currently in the editing process. The book is titled «Why Men and Women Cheat: Side Psychology,» and it focuses on understanding, avoiding, and recovering from infidelity.

That book is a culmination of the work and research I’ve done on this subject. Let me just clarify this: when I refer to this message as «Side Psychology,» and mention «Inside the Game,» I want you to understand that I don’t mean to address infidelity in a playful way. Not all games are safe; some games are dangerous. However, there is a mentality for some people that it is a game. There’s a lot of maneuvering, sneakiness, craftiness, strategizing, hiding, victories, and losses. For many people, it is a game.

The problem with this topic is that statistics from my most recent research indicate that somewhere between seven to seven and a half out of every ten marriages have had someone cross a line. That’s a staggering number—70 to 75%! Someone engaged in inappropriate behavior, which may not have even involved a full physical sexual relationship with someone else; it could have been an emotional relationship where you connected with someone without taking your clothes off or having sex. Your heart got attached to someone. It could have been virtual infidelity through pornography.

If you think pornography is acceptable, try doing it in front of your spouse! There are many levels of this issue; it could involve inappropriate texting and conversations that are ongoing. Some people view infidelity as black and white, but I believe it is complicated. I think it has a pathology to it. There are patterns that develop in relationships that make them vulnerable to infidelity, and there are painful, sometimes volatile consequences that accompany it, making it extremely difficult to address.

The issue is that within the church, there isn’t much conversation surrounding it. How can we not talk about something when, in fact, in this room or in any room with anyone watching me right now, there isn’t a row where someone isn’t playing the game? There’s not a row here where someone hasn’t played the game or isn’t sitting on the sidelines trying to get into the game. Can we just be real? Let’s be honest.

I think it’s a tragedy to come to church, go through the motions, play games, and give sermons that don’t connect to where people really live. This is the kind of stuff that is causing people to get caught up, destroying families, and leading people to lose their lives. It’s risky. So we need to talk about it. What amazes me is how relevant the Bible is, even though it was written thousands of years ago.

You all remember the new song called «Weekend»? Someone mentioned it to me this morning when I shared my message. It has 116 million views on YouTube and is all about infidelity. It aligns with what I’m discussing; it says, «You’re like 9 to 5, I’m the weekend.» Someone knows I blow his mind every weekend. Every time I see something that touches on cheating, it accumulates views—116 million of them! This is an epidemic.

Listen to what Proverbs says in chapter 5 about this subject. I want to give you four key points to consider. First, it mentions that «the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey and her mouth is smoother than oil.» This is not merely a description of her mouth’s texture; it uses allegorical terminology to convey how smooth her words are. There are women so smooth they can seduce you without even touching you.