Keith Battle - Some Friendly Advice

I’m going to call this message «Some Friendly Advice.» That’s what I’m going to name it: Some Friendly Advice. So, I want to start, and I’m going to give you four points, some friendly advice points, and then I’m going to ask you some questions, and then we’ll be done with it. But here’s some friendly advice.

First of all, I want to talk to people who have lost someone, who have suffered loss or death this year or recently, and you’re still hurting. You’re grieving for someone precious you’ve lost, and I want to address that. I want to call this first piece of advice «Good Grief.»

Now, in the Bible, in Matthew chapter 5, verse 4, which is where I want to turn, it says this in the Beatitudes: «God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.» So, mourning is not a bad thing; in fact, it is the passageway to the comfort that comes from God. We have to mourn.

So, one of the things I want you to do right now, with all the fun, pranks, jokes, and everything we’ve been doing in the chat all night, is to take a minute and type the names of those you’ve lost this year into the chat. Who did you lose? Just begin typing their names. Who do you miss? It could be someone from this year, or it could be someone more recent, and the pain of that loss is still fresh for you.

I just want us all to recognize that we’ve all suffered loss. As you type their names into the chat, begin to realize that we’ve lost parents, siblings, children, icons, celebrities, political leaders, activists, colleagues, neighbors, coaches, friends, and family members. There has been so much loss. And as you type those names, maybe even tears will begin to flow. I want you to know that when you cry, that’s a good thing. Your tears release pain; they allow toxins and emotional distress that are housed in your body to come out. It’s okay; your tears are okay.

As you write down those names and think about the people you lost, that is a part of good grief. It is mourning; it is allowing your heart to accept that your heart is broken. There’s another side of good grief that I want to discuss, and while I don’t want to rush past how broken you may be, I also want you to know that good grief isn’t just about how broken you are; it’s also about how blessed you were.

What am I saying? Anyone who hurt you real bad when you lost them means they blessed you real good while they were here. I’ll say that again for the people in the back: Anyone who hurt you real bad when you lost them means they blessed you real good while they were here. This means they were precious because we don’t mourn things that we lose that aren’t valuable. We don’t mourn people that we lose who aren’t valuable. They had to be valuable, precious, and special.

So, why should you be grateful? It’s a blessing that God chose you to be in a relationship with that person. It’s a blessing that God chose you to be part of their family. It’s a blessing that God allowed your paths to cross. You are blessed in that situation. So, don’t just be sad about what you lost or who you lost; be grateful that God allowed your paths to cross and that, in His infinite wisdom, chose you to be part of their life.

Here’s what I want you to do right now. Please type in the chat the length of time you were blessed to spend with them. It doesn’t matter if it was two minutes, two hours, two decades, or 27 years, 57 years, 16 years, or six weeks—whatever the time was that God blessed you with. Start typing it into the chat right now because some of you need to rejoice over the fact that you know what: I miss that person so much, but God gave me time with that person. You need to be grateful for the time you had. That’s good grief—not just being broken over what you lost, but being grateful and blessed for the time you had.

Here’s my question I want to ask you around good grief: What can you do to honor the memory of the person you lost? Anyone who was that precious to you may be a part of your grieving process, discovering how to honor their memory.