Touré Roberts - Marriage, What You Were Never Told

Father, thank you so much for this moment that you have blessed all of us to be in. I thank you, God, for your word; it’s a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. I thank you, God, for the spirit of wisdom, revelation, insight, knowledge, and full access to heaven’s resources to be a blessing to your people. I decree upfront that we’re going to be much better going out than we were upon coming in, in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

Is anybody better already since you’ve been at this conference? You’re getting tools, perspectives, insights, and breakthroughs. In this last session, I have to tell you, I really sensed that God was saving marriages—literally saving them. Come on, somebody! I mean, you can just tell when there is a radical shift—the directional shift, the trajectory of a marriage and a relationship is changing as a result of what took place. So many wonderful things. I thank God for this conference, for any marriage conference, because marriage is so critical; it’s everything. When you’re on the wrong side of a marriage, it can be the most depressing thing you’ve ever experienced. So anytime you see leaders who want to pour into couples and marriages, you best believe that there’s a blessing in the building. Does anyone believe that there’s a blessing? This is holy ground. I want to add to that a little bit, and when I think about marriage, to me, it’s absolutely incredible. My wife is my best friend, and I’m so much better because of her. Think about the gift of marriage: companionship forever, love forever—all of the things that marriage brings, all the gifts. But there is an often-overlooked gift of marriage that I want to talk about today. Quite possibly, it is the greatest gift of marriage, and that gift is who you get to become in the process of being married. What if the greatest gift in marriage was not love? What if it wasn’t the fact that you have a life partner? What if the greatest gift of marriage is what marriage causes to be produced on the inside of you? What if marriage was about becoming who you and I have the privilege to become because of this unique thing called marriage? What if it was something that we were becoming that we couldn’t achieve in any other context other than marriage? That’s what I want to submit to you today. If you’re taking notes, write this down: marriage is an institution of transformation. One thing that I’ve learned about God is that He not only wants you to be saved, but He wants you to be whole. That’s what He came for: He came to save you, but He also came to make you whole. There’s a passage in Scripture that says, «For this purpose, the Son of God was manifest, that He might destroy the works of the devil.» That’s kind of heavy because what does it mean to destroy the works of the devil? I can see if He said to destroy the work of the devil—the sin. That makes sense. But the works mean my word says works have to do with the residual impact of sin. So we get saved, and our soul is good. We accept Jesus Christ; we’re going to heaven; we’re good to go. But there’s still damage—the way we see things, the way we engage, how we trust people, and oftentimes how we cannot trust. So God not only wants us to be saved, but He wants us to be everything He created us to be. One of the things that God uses to develop us, to grow us, is this wonderful thing called marriage. Are you tracking with me? If you look at God’s strategy, marriage is one of God’s strategies to produce the best version of ourselves. Think about it: God created man in His image, and then He immediately created the one relationship that challenges us to grow unlike any other relationship. There’s no relationship on the planet that demands growth quite like marriage. If you’re taking notes, write this down: you can’t have a strong marriage without a strong you. You can’t have a strong marriage without a strong you. You can’t have a whole marriage without a whole you. A healthy marriage requires a healthy you. It all boils down to what I like to call the «you factor.» The you factor is a critical aspect of marriage, and here’s the good news: a God-ordained marriage is designed to produce a strong you. So how does this development take place? Let’s talk about it. If you look at Proverbs 17:17, there is a truth hidden right there in that text that I believe shows us how God uses the marriage relationship to produce a version of ourselves that we would not be able to reach otherwise. Let’s get to it: it says, «A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.» Now, you’re looking at that right now and saying, «Touré, I don’t see anything at all about marriage in this text.» Well, let me break down some of these words for you so that it will help you out. When it says that word that was translated «friend, ” when it says, „A friend loves at all times, ” it’s not talking about a close friend; it’s talking about an associate—someone that you are loosely acquainted with, right? But somebody…