Touré Roberts - What's Your Why?

Come on, let’s get into this thing: «What’s your why?» What’s your why? What’s your why? Your why is incredibly important, and let me just begin by saying I think there are three types of whys that you need to wrap your head around—three types of whys. The first type of why is a situational why. This has to do with the why that reveals your motives. We all know that it’s not what you do; it’s why you do it. Man looks at what you do; God looks at why you did it. Even in the Bible, the Pharisees, the ultra-religious people of the days of Jesus, would pray—not in the back in their prayer closet, but out in the courtyards to be seen. So they were doing the right thing for the wrong motives. I think understanding your situational whys has to do with being self-aware. I talk about this in my book, «Wholeness.» In my book «Wholeness,» I explain that in order to discover and break negative patterns, one of the ways to uncover that information is to continue to ask yourself why. Why did I do that? Why did I get upset? Why did that hurt me? You keep drilling down to why. Personally, I don’t just accept a negative feeling. For example, raise your hand if you’ve ever felt insecure. Let me see your hands—you must be honest here! Insecurity is a feeling, right? You feel insecure; it’s a feeling. And if you’re like me, I don’t just accept any negative feeling. I’ve got to research it. So if I’m feeling insecure, I understand that my feelings are connected to my thoughts, and I have to ask the question: What am I thinking? So I get to why I’m feeling that way. Situational understanding, or wrapping your mind around situational whys, is the ability to be self-aware—to know what’s motivating you at any time. Because it’s not what you do! I know people who do nice things to gain an advantage. I know people who say nice things to get an advantage. So I want to be whole, and in order for me to be whole, I have to be in touch with my why. Are you tracking with me? That makes sense. Situational why: Why did I do that? Why did I post that photo on Instagram? Because I just like posting photos on Instagram? Yeah, but let two or three people like it when typically 20 or 20,000 like it, and you will realize that you didn’t simply post it because it was a nice picture. But if we get down to the why, you posted it because you needed something. Who’s quiet? Half the photos we post, we post because we need something. And I’ll tell you how you know—you get two or three likes on it. You get two or three likes on it, and you’re going to post another picture that didn’t work very well. Let me find it. So anyway, situational why is coming to a place of wholeness and maturity, where you understand why you do what you do, you qualify that why, and you make certain that that why is healthy. Are you tracking with me? So that’s situational.

With three types of whys: the situational why, there is the seasonal why. That’s when you do something, like going to school or college—you’re doing that for a reason, you have a why for doing it. You intern somewhere; it is seasonal, it is temporary. You’ve got a reason for doing it; you have a why for doing it. You have to understand that, and the reason why that’s important is because if you understand the why, you’ll stay in the game. Are you tracking with me? So you have your situational why, you’ve got your seasonal why, and the why that I want to spend the majority of my time on is the substratum why. The substratum meaning the foundation—your foundational why. It’s the big why. It’s the why that answers the question: Why are you here? Oh, hallelujah! Did you know that you are not simply a what? You are a why! You’re not just a what; you are a why. God made you something, but He made you something for a reason. There is a why connected to you. I was in bed early this morning, and I have these headphones that I use—actually, I have this whole little system that helps me go to sleep and stay asleep because sometimes I just be wired. I’ve got so much going on; there are many things spinning at the same time. I never go to bed with everything done. There are always several things in several areas of my life that need to be finished. Everything is evolving and working—you close this deal but you’re in the middle of that deal. That’s my life; that’s my world. As a result, it’s difficult for me to go to sleep. So I have various methods, breathing techniques, and I just do it all so I can get to sleep, right? I had the headphones on last night, and the headphones are noise-canceling. Sometimes I have certain sounds or whatever, but this time it was just silent. In the silence, I could hear my heartbeat. Now, my heart is beating all the time—just like yours beats all the time—but I don’t hear it.