Dharius Daniels - You Can't Control Your Heart

They don’t get you emotionally; they will rock your world so much physically that you have a constant mental replay going on inside of you. They have taken you to the third heaven physically, and now you know they’re not good for you. Choosing who to be romantically involved with is one of the most consequential decisions you will ever make. I’m going to say this again: besides making the decision to live your life following the example and adhering to the instructions of Jesus Christ, the most consequential decision you will make is who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. I want to reiterate a word that I chose to convey my point, and that word is «consequential» because I am not saying that your relational life is the most important thing in your life. I am saying it affects everything that is important. It’s tightly connected already, and watch this: decisions that are this consequential should not be made casually. However, the spirit of this age—what does that mean? That’s a term that Paul uses in the Bible to describe social trends, the way people typically do things at a given point in human history. The spirit of this age seems to cultivate a culture of casualness, flippancy, and nonchalance when it comes to relational decisions, as if who you choose to give your heart to doesn’t affect you. This not only seems to be the case with the way we manage ourselves when it comes to who we pick, but it also seems to be the case—uh oh! Everybody breathe—it also seems to be the case in how we manage others after we pick them. Okay, let me rephrase it: there seems to be, watch this now, because you’ve got to understand, church is not the only culture that disciples. There’s a word the Bible uses to describe Christians who have been discipled by culture: the word is «carnal.» It means that a person is a believer; they have been authentically converted, but the majority of their life and the decisions they make are not influenced by God’s creative intent; they’re influenced by whatever is the spirit of the age. It’s Christian-ish; it’s whatever’s in vogue, whatever’s popular, whatever’s gaining steam—yeah, whoever the new influencer is on relationships, even if they don’t have one. Whatever is in vogue means that’s what’s influencing their decisions. That’s what’s influencing their financial decisions, their professional decisions, their emotional sense, and their relational decisions. The Bible calls it, it’s not that they’re not a Christian; it’s not that God doesn’t love them, it’s just that it’s carnal. Culture disciples, and there’s this casualness we’ve been discipled into when it comes to playing with my heart. Because some of us, watch this: «Well, I mean, there’s this culture of casualness and flippancy and nonchalance.» Listen, you know, «I can just do this; I can do that, ” because „I can control my heart.“ I’m going to show you in a minute that you can’t. I can control my heart? I’m going to show you in a minute that God, who gave you your heart, says you can’t, and your heart will have you feeling something for somebody you shouldn’t feel it for. You say, „I’m in love with someone who isn’t good for me.“ See, come on now—no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, come on now! That heart, which is your second brain, has you acting illogically. So cognitively, you know that’s not good for you; cognitively, you know they’re not changing; cognitively, you know that you deserve better. But emotionally, you can’t do what you know to be true cognitively, because you thought you had control over who you were with, and then there was that one who got through. That one that got through has such a hold on you. I know you think you have it under control, but we have children’s church right now. The key is, I’m talking like a spiritual father today, so you’ve got your kids in children’s church, right? We have a great one, with staff, so you’re okay. There’s always going to be that one. If they don’t get you emotionally, they’re going to get you physically. Let me say it once more, because I’m not playing games with the devil today, and I’m not tiptoeing around this subject. I’m going straight there: if they don’t get you emotionally, they will rock your world so much physically that you have a constant mental replay going on inside of you. They have taken you to the third heaven physically, and now you know they’re not good for you, but you keep going back because what felt so good has ruined you. You have comparisons you should never have and are wrestling with comparisons God never intended for you to struggle with, complicating your ability to choose correctly. You’re trying to recapture something you experienced in a season where the enemy wanted to embellish and exaggerate how good it was, because as good as it was, you still left due to the other part being that bad. However, the devil won’t remind you of why you left; he only reminds you of why you wanted to stay. There is a casualness and flippancy that needs to be reflected on.