Dharius Daniels - 4 Types of People You CAN'T Help

Here’s what I know: if you’re serious about accomplishing your purpose, you’re serious about helping people because, in some way, accomplishing your purpose helps others. However, what most people fail to realize is that you can’t help everybody. I said it, and I meant it—you can’t help everybody. There are four types of people you can’t help, and in this video, I’m going to tell you who they are. Listen, if you’re watching this, I know you’re serious about carrying out and accomplishing your purpose. I would be too; I am. I am in passionate pursuit of mine. I realize and recognize that accomplishing your purpose is the only way to true fulfillment. I get it, and your purpose, like mine, in some way, either directly or indirectly, is going to involve helping people. So if you take purpose seriously, you will take helping people seriously.

But there’s a principle I saw in Scripture that I think many people overlook: there are some people you can’t help. In Matthew chapter 10, Jesus sends his disciples out two by two to conduct ministry service in various villages. He tells the disciples how to handle people who won’t receive their help. He says, «Hey, if you go into a village, a city, or a home, and it is peaceable, let your peace remain in that place.» He continues, «But if not—if they’re resistant, hesitant, or obstinate—shake the dust off your feet.» Why? Because He doesn’t want them to carry that rejection from one place with them to another. Jesus Himself prepares His disciples on how to handle people they couldn’t help, and I think it’s important for you and me to accept that.

Now, I know what you may be thinking or what some people may think: «No, I don’t give up on people. I refuse to give up on people. God didn’t give up on me; people didn’t give up on me, so I’m not going to give up on others.» I understand that; I think it’s admirable. But I believe there’s a difference between giving up on people and giving people up to God. I think it is imperative to realize and recognize that I am responsible for being a good steward over my energy, my information, and my investments (Matthew 7:6)—to not cast my pearls before swine. That means identifying people who are not ready for help.

I believe there are four types of people you can’t help, and I want to share them with you.

Number one: you can’t help people who don’t know they need it. You know what that is? That is self-deception, and it is the worst kind of deception because, when I deal with self-deception, I don’t know I’m deceived. Any other form of deception is done with and to others, and we are conscious and cognizant of it because we are trying to do it. If people try to deceive another person, that happens intentionally. But self-deception occurs unconsciously; it’s literally blind spots. Until people’s eyes are opened to see the need for help, you’re unable to help them. I know what you’re thinking: «Well, maybe I can help them see.» Maybe you can, and maybe you can’t; I’ve learned you cannot help anybody see who loves being blind. It’s impossible. Some people like their current state of existence; they don’t want help because they don’t think they need it. I’ve seen this all throughout my life, personally and professionally, whether it’s people struggling with substance abuse or situations of that nature. I got it; it’s under control. If they don’t know they need help, you can’t help them. That doesn’t mean you give up on them; it means you give them up to God.

The second type of person you can’t help is a person who knows they need help, but they don’t want it. You’ve probably heard this axiom: it’s possible to want more for people than they want for themselves. It’s true; you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Most of us assume that because people are living life, or an area of their life is in a way we wouldn’t be happy with, they should be happy. If you look at an area of their life and say, «Man, I would not be okay with that area of my life being that way, ” we assume they’re not okay with that either. The truth is some people actually are. Very often, we assume that everybody has the same appetite, but that’s just not true. Some people have an appetite for more, greatness, or the extraordinary, while others are okay not being okay. So, you can lead them into a better life, but you can’t force them into one. That’s the second type of person you can’t help.

The third type of person you can’t help is a person who knows they need it and wants it; they just don’t want it from you. Listen: when you get better spiritually, everything gets better. Spiritual life is not the only important part of your life; it is the most important part because it affects every other part. However, you don’t get stronger spiritually accidentally. It takes intentionality. You need to get fed, and you have to learn.