Dharius Daniels - 5 Ways to Steward the Wise Women in Your Life

The whole family avoided disaster because of the intervention of a woman who receives very little credit. Many people are unfamiliar with this story because we don’t talk about Abigail. Yet, all of us are here because, in one way or another, an Abigail used a weapon called wisdom to help us. Now, do you think a woman like that is a gift from God? Do you think God wants us to properly steward and take care of gifts like that? The question is how, and the answer is twofold: you have to ask her, and then secondly, you have to ask the one who made her. The one who made her may tell you something she can’t, because some of them have gone without a need being met for so long that they don’t even know how to name the need. So, God has to tell you how to give them what they can’t name because they’ve never had it. I can’t tell you what she could say, but I can share some things I think the Maker would say. R.C. Sproul says we cannot read God’s mind, but we can read His word. So here it is, family: five things really quick.

Number one for my note-takers: What should I do with Abigail? How can I help a sister out? Number one: affirm Abigail. Affirmation is an indication that you have properly perceived her value. I’m not talking about feeling gratitude; I’m talking about expressing appreciation. Proverbs 31:28 says, «For the virtuous woman, her children rise and call her blessed, and her husband also praises her.» Affirm Abigail.

Number two: advocate for Abigail. Abigail is often helping other people give birth to their dreams, yet very rarely are people helping her give birth to hers. Abigail can speak up for herself, but she shouldn’t have to do that all the time.

Number three: assist Abigail. This means accurately identifying the season she’s in and discerning the support that season requires. «Baby, what, mom, sister, where are you now? Because I don’t want to give you what you used to need.»

Number four: accept Abigail. Abigail needs to be received for who she is, not just for who she’s not, because some of the things that agitate you about her are what make her an asset to you. «You’re so detailed; that’s why our bills get paid.» She needs to be encouraged to grow into a better version of herself but not pressured to become someone she’s not. Acceptance is not an excuse to stay stuck in dysfunction, but rather it’s an acknowledgement that you are loved in spite of it, and the things that others judge. I am here to heal.

And last but not least, assure Abigail. Just because Abigail is strong doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel insecure. There are times when adversity creates amnesia, and Abigail forgets who she is. She needs somebody to remind her she still matters. All this message is about is a biblical concept called stewardship, that when God blesses you, He often blesses you in the form of people. We are to steward those people well and recognize when God is giving you a different kind; it’s an Abigail who needs to be treated that way.