Dharius Daniels - I Bust The Windows Out Your Car

Here’s a topic of today’s teaching: «I Busted the Windows Out Your Car.» Clap your hands if you’re not scared! You’re like, «Where is he going with this?» «I Busted the Windows Out Your Car» was released on September 16, 2008, by a soulful sister named Jazmine Sullivan, and the first segment of the song goes as follows:

I bust the windows out your car
And no it didn’t mend my broken heart
I’ll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don’t care about that part

This song articulates the real and raw emotions of a person who has been plagued by a painful experience to the extent that they feel provoked to engage in an act of retaliation in an attempt to make the person who hurt them feel pain as well. Although, as followers of the ways of Jesus, we do not endorse or condone these types of acts, as people of empathy, we can understand what precedes them. I feel safe in saying that many, if not most, of us know what it feels like to hurt so badly that you want the person who hurt you to hurt as well. If this is a segment of the sermon where you feel confused and cannot relate, I’m glad, because it means you haven’t experienced the kind of pain that provokes thoughts of things you would never normally consider. It means you haven’t experienced the kind of pain that makes you contemplate actions or words you would typically avoid. Is there anyone in the room or online who has enough experience to agree with the pastor that pain has levels? Come on, there’s a degree of pain that agitates you, but there’s another that paralyzes you. There’s pain inflicted upon you where you can still carry out your daily duties, and there’s pain that will immobilize you and rob you of sleep. There’s pain that will affect your appetite, even when the pain has nothing to do with your hunger. Is there anyone in the room who knows what it’s like to deal with intense pain? The enemy uses pain to provoke us into temptation for retaliation, compelling us to inflict hurt upon those who hurt us. One of the only ways to overcome this temptation for retaliation is to have a revelation that the behavior we assume will hurt the other person actually hurts us more. If you actually break their car windows, you might face charges. This is why it is unwise, unhealthy, illogical, and unbiblical to allow the hurt caused by someone or something to push us to behave in ways that hurt us even more. If they didn’t love you well enough not to hurt you, then you need to love yourself well enough not to continue hurting yourself. Did you hear what I just said? It means I have some responsibility to take for the stewardship of my own soul. At some point, I must gain a revelation about who I am and respond to that revelation by setting boundaries that protect my soul from the toxicity of your refusal to evolve into a better version of yourself. I cannot put my well-being in the hands of your immaturity. Therefore, I must learn not only how to love God—come here, church—but I must learn how to love what God loves, and God loves me. For those of you who have a spiritual heritage that leads you to believe that self-love is selfish, may I remind you of the words of Jesus? When questioned by a leader in the law about the most important commandment, Jesus said to them, «You are to love God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul,» and then, «You are to love your neighbor as yourself.» You cannot truly love people well until you learn to love yourself first. Right? Y’all are not talking to me, because some of you might say, «No, Pastor, when I did love myself well, I loved others—that was my problem.» No, you didn’t love yourself; you pleased them and called it love. Let me go to this side: Just because you call it love doesn’t mean it is love. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t have the capacity to love others. You may have pleased them, appeased them, accommodated them, or capitulated to them, but that’s not love. Love means, sometimes, I cannot give you what you want. Love sometimes involves saying what you don’t want to hear. The Bible says, «Whom the Lord loves, He chastens.» That went beyond mere pleasing. Am I making sense? Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, we must be intentional about grooming and growing our love for God, ourselves, and others to the degree that we become willing to continually—not seasonally, not periodically, not temporarily, but continually—do the inner work needed to manage unbridled emotions. Breaking windows out of a car is an expression of emotions that are unbridled. Come on, talk to me! We must be willing to do the work to grow spiritually and to influence ourselves emotionally; this way, even if we have feelings, feelings do not have us. It’s one thing for feelings to be in us; it’s another for us to be in our feelings. Come on, Church! Therefore, those of us who prioritize purpose must embrace the following axiom: My success requires my sobriety. I cannot be successful if I’m not sober. I cannot be successful relationally if I’m not sober. I cannot be successful spiritually if I’m not sober. I cannot be whole emotionally if I’m not sober. I cannot advance professionally if I am not sober. The enemy understands the importance of our sobriety, which is often under attack. He attacks you by attacking your…