Dharius Daniels - When is Enough, Enough?

Hey, I have a question for you: What do you owe people in the present who have been good to you in the past? Have you ever felt that tension? If you have, let’s talk about it. I want to walk you through it in this video. Maybe you’ve been in this situation— I know I have—where people have been really, really good to you in the past. I can think of so many individuals who gave me a shot, who provided me with opportunities, and who were there for me in ways that nobody else was. Man, I remember when I was in college, broke and eating bologna sandwiches—y’all don’t know anything about that! I recall getting random checks in the mail from people who said, «You were on my heart; I wanted to send you something to help you get through school.» I also remember early on in my ministry, people giving me chances—inviting me to come speak places, and I was just so grateful for those opportunities.

For me, I’m the type of person who is aware of where I come from. I hail from Kilmichael, Mississippi, a small, rural place with amazing people. To see what God has done and where I come from fills me with gratitude and appreciation. However, I remember feeling a sense of indebtedness to those who supported me. I was particularly mindful of those who opened up opportunities for me, especially in the beginning. I felt this overwhelming gratitude every time someone invited me to speak. But as life progressed, with kids, my own church, and other responsibilities, I found myself in a tough spot. Every time certain people called, I dropped everything for them.

Then I hit a season where my responsibilities became overwhelming; I felt like I was drowning. I tell this story in my book, «Your Purpose is Calling.» In October 2014, I woke up feeling panic. I was leading our churches, juggling two building projects at the same time, finishing my doctoral work at Fuller, and trying to complete the manuscript for my book, «Represent Jesus,» which was my first. I was just overwhelmed trying to manage all of that while still being a husband and dad to two young boys. Eventually, my mind, heart, and body told me I was carrying too much. I had to make some tough decisions to lighten my load, and I wrestled a lot with that—feeling unable to do some of the things I once did.

I even spoke with my counselor about it because here’s the thing: not everyone will be happy with every shift you make in your life. Just because you choose something good for yourself doesn’t mean it feels good to others. During that time, I sensed reactions that made me feel more guilty. I had a sense of indebtedness, yet I noticed that some people had a sense of entitlement. They were there for me, they opened doors, and they presented opportunities, but how much do you owe them? If they opened doors for you in one season, are you indebted to them for eternity? I had to seek help processing that, and I believe many people also struggle with a sense of indebtedness.

If you struggle with this, it’s a good struggle because it shows you are appreciative. It means you recognize what others have done for you. It signifies you aren’t exploitative and that you’re not just taking from people without giving back.

Listen, this is for people who want to change their lives and the lives of others. You cannot do this without coaching and mentorship. I’m inviting you to allow me to be your coach and mentor. Join my tribe called Daniel’s Den, inspired by a biblical figure named Daniel who had a marketplace mandate—God’s people doing good work in the public sector for the common good. By using your influence, you can impact the income to change the world. You get to help others while making a difference in the marketplace, and you also help yourself because you’re going to gain more.