Dharius Daniels - She Won't Submit UNLESS She Feels Safe

What’s up? This is Darius Daniels, and this is part three of four things I would tell my sons about women. In this video, I’m going to share number three, which is simply that she’ll only submit if she feels safe. Listen, this statement I know has a little bit of controversy in it, but again, this is just something I would tell my sons. I would tell my sons this, not just based on my experience in my own life and marriage, but also based on my experience as a spiritual leader who has spent the majority of his life serving other people. Some people in the clothing business, some in the numbers business, and some in the food business—I’ve been in the people business my entire life. I’ve actually been married the majority of my life, and because of my experience in those areas, I think this subject is one that I understand is controversial, but at the same time, it’s super consequential. Let me be very clear here: I believe in the biblical concept of submission. I do. I understand that this concept has been abused, and I recognize that people confuse submission with subjugation. I understand that some have exploited this, but I don’t believe you abandon something that’s right just because people have handled it in a way that’s wrong. You don’t fix wrong teaching with non-teaching; you fix wrong teaching with right teaching. When I look over my 20-something years of marriage, there’s just no way it would have worked without this concept of submission. There are times, and I even think about when my wife and I were first dating. When we were first dating, she knew immediately I was called to ministry. She knew I was called to ministry in the initial phases of our dating, but I wasn’t pursuing a «career» in ministry; I was going to law school. So, the majority of the time we were dating, I was attending law school. That was my intention. I was wrestling internally with this sense of call to lay down my dream of law school and pursue seminary full-time. Eventually, I wrestled with this for a couple of years. I went from not going to seminary at all to going to law school, then I went from okay, I’m going to go to law school and seminary at the same time. I started looking at programs that offered five-year programs, which included a dual JD and M.Div, so I could earn both degrees in five years. Then, I went from that to concluding that I was simply supposed to do seminary. I remember applying to seminaries, and our plan was for me to go to Vanderbilt, which was in Nashville, a few hours from Jackson. My wife graduated college before I did, so she was already working, and her job would transfer her to Nashville. She was going to be the breadwinner while I went through seminary, and we would see what God had for us after my time in seminary. But here’s what happened: By the time I finally laid down my law school plans and applied to seminary, it was in the spring of my senior year of college—well, not spring, late winter. So, it was probably February, and I was graduating in May, yet I was just now applying to seminaries. By the time I started getting acceptance letters and things of that nature, a lot of the scholarship money had already been given out. I received a letter from Vanderbilt saying I got in, but because most of the funding had been allocated, they could only offer me a 75% scholarship. Seven days later, I checked my mailbox, and I heard back from Princeton. I was able to attend Princeton for free. Now, we transitioned from our plans of living in Nashville to now going to a completely different part of the country—one neither of us had ever planned on going to—but I was chasing a dream that was in my heart from God. So, imagine us trying to make that transition without submission. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t times when you have to compromise, but I am saying that the word submission means a synthesis of two words: «sub» and «mission.» It means to get under the mission, right? That’s literally what it means. It means there’s a mission God gives, and you have to get underneath that mission. So, I’m practicing submission by saying, «God, I really want to go to law school; you’re calling me to go to seminary. I’m going to yield to that.» So now, she’s in a situation where she’s saying, «I really want to be in Nashville—that’s closer to my family, and my job is going to transfer me there—but I’m connected to this man you’re calling to New Jersey, so I’ve got to get under that.» We had these plans for Nashville; she was willing to yield those plans. We ultimately moved to Princeton, I attended Princeton seminary, we started the church, and the rest is history. Without submission, I would have been in a position where I was forced to choose between pleasing God or feeling like I had to please a spouse. I know some of you watching this might feel like, «Man, I don’t think I’ll ever be…»